The Underlying Fear

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Today an ugly truth reared its head.  For several years now I’ve known what I wanted for my life and I have been working on bringing it all about. It has been an interesting journey and at times quite painful. However, through it all I have remained faithful to my purpose. There was one thing I was not recognizing in all of this and that was the underlying fear. Which is the title of this poem.

The Underlying Fear

What is it I’m avoiding when the phone rings?

Who is it I’m afraid is on the line?

What are all those unopened envelopes

With the name on that is mine?

Are those things  I’m avoiding so terrible?

Is the past just catching up on me?

If I were to inherit a fortune

Would I suddenly feel free?

Whenever  I think or dream about the future

There is so much that gets in my way

A mountain of obstacles mounting

Getting bigger and bigger each day

I so want to conquer this mountain

I feel that the end’s coming near

But there’s one huge thing in my way

It’s the underlying fear

Yes! Fear of being successful

And actually making my mark

So what could possibly be so bad

Do I want to remain in the dark?

Well doesn’t this sound preposterous?

Isn’t this the silliest thing?

As I let go the underlying fear

My heart is beginning to sing

It’s a song of new understanding

Understanding I can have it all

I can now conquer the mountain

That mountain that caused me to fall

Copyright BEST 2011

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Promises Broken

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I recently ran into a couple from New Jersey that were planning to move here to Delaware. The wife, had taken a position with the State approximately 15 years before, drawn by the attractive retirement package that she would enjoy at the close of her tenure there. However, it seems that all those monies have since disappeared and all the time she has put in is for naught. I could feel her immense disappointment and sadness and wonder when we (the g.p.) are going to stop allowing this kind of behavior to be acceptable. Needless to say it was this conversation that inspired these words. The title is:

Promises Broken

Whenever I meet someone

Who may be close to retirement age

Often I’m seeing a sadness

And even occasional rage

This rage stems from deep disappointment

From a fear of what is to be

Now retirement monies have vanished

Along with dreams of days to be free

All these years they’ve been dreaming

Of spending their twilight in fun

Little knowing that they’d be let down

And all of those sweet dreams undone

How can this possibly happen

When trust is the word we are told

By our leaders in grand high positions

Whose words have more value than gold

Or have we been led by deception

Could it be they are not what they seem

Should we have known that those leaders

Would not invest in our dream

When will these promise breakers

Be taken to task for their sin

When will we finally refuse to

Allow all their lies to begin

And how, when we took this work course

Would we know that those words that were spoken

Would end up in deep disillusion

And a pot full of promises broken

Copyright Best 2011

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Forgive and Let Go

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A dear friend of mine called me today and told me that his father had been taken into the hospital, again, and was really in a bad way. He explained that he was feeling torn about how he should respond, because although he recognized the serious nature of his father’s situation, it had happened, so many times before and his father had always seem to rally.

It was at this point of our conversation that I felt the need to risk our friendship and be willing to say what I felt was truly happening.  I told him that I honestly felt  that the reason that this situation kept happening was he was being given an opportunity to experience forgiveness and that in order for him to move forward in his life and his father to be able to make his transition he would need to step into the place of forgiveness and let go of all the animosity he had held for his father all of his life. I felt this with every sinew of my being and felt I would be cheating him if I were not willing to risk his rejection by giving his this information. This, I felt, was his journey – a lesson in forgiveness.

There are times that we are so close to the situation that we don’t clearly see our course. When someone reaches out, never let ego get in the way, be willing to risk rejection and love them enough to be truthful with your feelings. With this in mind I wrote the following:

Forgive and Let Go

I’m witness to a profound situation

Where a Son and his Dad are in pain

They have come to a time in their lives

When it’s time to change the refrain

The refrain sounds like the Son’s been a victim

And the Dad never understood why

They have carried a lifelong battle

Now a stalemate is their battle cry

I believe as the father lays dying

A place he’s been many times before

He is giving his Son a chance to forgive

And his son’s righteousness makes him ignore

It has been a long uphill battle

Throughout the Son’s forty some years

He’s felt his Father was always against him

Often leaving him fighting back tears

My prayer is the Son will see reason

And understand all he needs to know

For him to go forward in his life in joy

He must learn to forgive and let go

Copyright Best 2011

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The Power is Within

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After watching a program on television recently, I found myself deeply affected by it’s content. Not having had any children of my own, and always holding certain sadness about that, these visions played heavily on my soul.

The Power is Within

I am so deeply saddened by some sights that fill my mind

Resulting from frustration of a most disturbing kind

I’m seeing children who’ve been tossed aside for one reason or another

Never able to experience the nurturing love of their mother

The mother’s been distracted by temptations she cannot deny

The powers of the drugs have left her child to cry

The child has been discarded and left to find their way

So that the mother can just get her fix to last just one more day

And yet that tender being that’s been left alone to tend

Somehow manages to conquer and finds a rainbows end

It seems that somewhere deep inside she found the strength to be

She never totally lost touch with the power that is she

Then other children lose their way still seeking out – outside

They forget their own inheritance and they feel they have to hide

Not recognizing that all they need is deep inside their skin

If only I could show them that their power is within

Alas, this is their journey – I must honor them this gift

It is their road to freedom – It is their chance to shift

I must lead only by example – and be all that I can be

Hold all the children in the light and set their spirits free

Copyright BEST 2011

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In Only a Fleeting Moment

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Recently I have been thinking a lot about an old friend of mine. Each time I thought about calling her it just wasn’t the right time to call. So I put off calling her. This has been going on for several months and then yesterday I decided to write a note to her on Facebook.  This morning I arose to find the reason she had been on my mind.  It turned out that 9 weeks ago, around the time I felt the urge to call her, her husband had died.

In Only a Fleeting Moment

It is clear to me I must check my focus

And preserve what’s important to me

Because in only a fleeting moment

Life changes what I feel is to be

I take for granted those friends that I know

Assuming they’ll always be there

And in only a fleeting moment in time

Those thoughts break into thin air

I must nurture all my friendships

And call when I hear our song

Because in only a fleeting moment

That dear friend I had may be gone

Let’s face it – I don’t really know

The plan I had made long before

And in only a fleeting moment

I  may be left still wanting more

I must reach out and make a difference

Each time that I feel inclined

As life – as I know it – on earth is so short

Only a fleeting moment in time

Copyright Best 2011

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And Life Goes On

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Do you ever just want to strangle that person in your life who is irritating the poop out of you? Or when that child nearby is constantly saying, “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! do you just want to scream? Well, isn’t it about time that we stop, take a deep breath, and realize that there are much more important things going on. We need to save our energy for those other important things! Think about this! We have so much to be grateful for.

And Life Goes On

People in America getting ready for the day

Trying to bring some sense of order to the things they do and say

Ever since the war began there is no other way

One thing may have changed for some as they

Take sometime to pray

And life goes on – we must hold our spirits high

Our troops are fighting for our freedom

And for this they’d gladly die

And life goes on

Now’s the time to love each other like we’ve never done before

Teach your children to be kind

Give our neighbors a helping hand

Remember we’ll be better givers when we don’t judge the takers

And this will be in a better land

We’ll recognize peace as a choice

That comes from within and life goes on

Copyright BEST- 2011

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Let Compassion Rule

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When the haunting news reels, taken in Arizona recently, showed up on my screen, I couldn’t help but notice how deeply I was being affected by them. Then it became clear to me that there is a grander picture. If I was feeling compassion for all those affected and then anger for the perpetrators, chances are that anger would over shadow my feelings of compassion. Therefor all the compassion I may have felt was not making its mark.

Let Compassion Rule

When all the news around us paints such horrific scenes

We must learn to use that filter in our soul

That filter helps us to determine the course our lives must take

And understand exactly what this means

There is a grander picture outside of all we see

We must be open to the lessons that life brings

The actions of another are not there for us to judge

But to set example of what we truly want to be

Compassion is the answer – forgiveness is the key

Everyone’s a victim – the perpetrators feel their pain

No-one knows the torture in their heart

That same pain could belong to you and me

So set them free and hold the light – or it’s we who are the fool

Though we may not understand this plan

It’s imperative we’re attentive to the love we hold within

Let’s let our compassion rule

Copyrightbest2011

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